Thank God for Blind Dates and Trolls

At the age of 19 I was in flux. C'mon who wasn't at that age? College wasn't a priority. I went to class about as often as Kanye West does something intelligent. I had no real motivation or inspiration. I was just existing.

Enter, the love of my life #1. My best friend Amanda was dating a troll. This troll had a friend. This friend was, umm a little tiny bit of a rebel with an even tinier bit of a desire NOT to be hidden deep within. A tragic event in his life caused him to reveal his desire to settle down and find a gal he could be serious about and love for forever.

Enter me! The Troll and Amanda had the epiphany to introduce us on a blind date at the infamous Briar Bowl. On a Sunday night in December I was at a church Christmas party, trying to back out of what I got myself into. I had no makeup on. I was dressed in a ratty pink fleece hoodie and mom jeans. My mother, God bless her, pushed me out the door. She explained that I had commited to this and could not stand him up. It was bad taste. Whatever, Mom.

So I showed up looking like a hot mess, hoping that would be enough to scare him off. There he was at the air hockey table. The first thing I noticed was not how handsome he was. I was blinded by the ugliest yellow shirt ever made and the flash of 2 ginormous cubic zirconia earrings. Then I locked my eyes on all the tattoos on his arms. What was he, a gay trucker? Did Amanda not know me at all?

So I was there. I had to at least bowl 1 game and not be a total loser. We bowled. I'm sure I lost. Wii is the only bowling I do successfully. I don't remember a single thing we talked about. At 10 Amanda and Troll left. Jarrod and I went to the Sugar Shack which Amanda's dad owned. We sipped coffee and talked about our mutual love of Florida State football, mustangs, and Brett Favre while Mullet Randy brought us doughnuts. (Mullet Randy will live in infamy as he once chased a robber out of the Shack and threw his cowboy boots at him. He later hung himself in prison. RIP Mullet Randy.) It wasn't long before I was noticing the prettiest blue eyes I had ever gazed into and not the QVC diamonique earrings. Or before I was commiting to memory the way his mouth pulled to the side in the cutest way when he smiled. ;)

There we were. Falling in love when we weren't even looking. We talked about things most couples don't discuss until they are engaged. I called Amanda as soon as I got in my car and told her she had just introduced me to my future husband. I told my mom as soon as I got home that he was the man I was gonna marry. I'm certain, though they did not speak it, both thought I was unstable. Guess we showed them!

6 months later we were married. Less months than I care to admit, we were parents of a bouncing baby boy. Enter the love of my life #2.

If I hadn't gone on that blind date I so desperately tried to bail on, if Amanda had not had the misfortune of bad taste in boyfriends, if my Mom hadn't guilted me in to obliging my hastily-made commitments, I would have missed my purpose for existing.

When I was a little girl alone in my little world, I had a dream. I would play with my dolls for hours, wishing for the day when I would hold my own babies. I would try to picture my husband, call him something generic like Michael. I would drive a Camry which I thought was the coolest car ever! (Thanks to Norman and Cindy, who I thought were the coolest parents ever.)

Now here I sit, eating cold macaroni and cheese surrounded by 2 fat drooling Boxers, one named Brett Favre, waiting to go pick up my almost-9-year-old. We are going with Daddy to a football game later to the high school from which I graduated, longer ago than I care to admit. I drove a Camry until the windows fell out of it and it wasn't such a cool car at 26 as it seemed when I was 11. We aren't what I pictured when I was a little girl. My babies are coming from Africa, not my body. But I'm surrounded by love, filled with pride for my now preacher-husband who still has tattoos that I pretend aren't there. And I thank God for the Troll, and for always knowing what's best for me.