Bitter or Better?

Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur. For 3 days they traveled in the desert without finding water. When they came to Marah, they could not drink the water because it was bitter. So the people grumbled against Moses saying, 'What are we to drink?'
Then Moses cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water and the water became sweet.
There the Lord made a decree and a law for them and there he tested them. He said, 'If you listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord who heals you.                         Exodus 15 22-26

(It's about to get personal and ugly.)
So there I was. Sitting in church on a beautiful October day. Still basking in the glory of a UK win over those filthy gamecocks late last night. Thinking about how angry I was. How unfair people are. How uncaring others are. How, I don't for the life of me, understand why we find ourselves in this situation when all we are trying to do is fulfill the will of God. Our preacher stands up and says to turn to Genesis. Then he stopped and says to turn to another passage, the one above. He says to the congregation that all of a sudden the game plan changed and the Lord was leading him to preach this other message instead. And it was for me.
Rewind 5 months. In May when we chose to pursue an international adoption I was gobbling up all the blogs and YouTube adoption videos I could. I became acutely aware of the dire orphan situation in Ethiopia. The Lord revealed to me passages of scripture I had never realized were there, though I had read them many times. My favorite has since become James 1:27. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." And now we were obligated to to something because according to Proverbs 21:12
Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act.
So automatically I figure all the good christian people in our lives, (work, church, family) will rally around us. They would all make certain to show us their support and faithfulness, taking it upon themselves to provide for our adoption whether it be financially or in prayer. We know enough people that it would not be difficult to have at least half the money in a few months. Our church family would pour out their love and devotion on us, knowing in their hearts that they were really using this to serve God. He has commanded us to care for the orphan. We are perpetually involved in missions and this isn't so different. At least I didn't think so. Not only on a personal, selfish level because it would be bringing home our child, but it would be following His commandments.
Now a funny thing about most scriptural bible-preaching churches in America; the plight of the orphan is not preached. There have been books written about "the whole in our gospel", which is actually the title of one of the books. I'm not getting on my soap box but it's intriguing to me. It's just not discussed. I wonder if the American Dream lifestyle has anything to do with it. We are so wrapped up in our lives, pursuing wealth, education, and the optimal life for our family that we forget about the other side of the world. The side where a mother has to prostitute herself out to villagers so she can have money to feed her 6 children. Or in Uganda where a mother makes her own alcohol to sell so she can buy food for her family. When the alcohol doesn't sell and there is no money she gives the drink to her kids at night before bed so they won't feel the pangs of huger. In our world we can't imagine a mother dying in childbirth and the father having to give the baby up for adoption because he can't afford formula. Can you imagine having to look at your kids and choose which ones to give up for adoption because you can't provide food for all of them? You know that you will never see them again. This is the reality in Ethiopia. In most of Africa. The cost of the pizza  you got on Saturday while you were watching football would have fed a family in Ethiopia for a month.
Fast forward from May to October. Guess what? The rallying that I thought would inevitably happen has not. I have allowed myself to get bitter about it. Family that I knew would help us have not. Friends that I knew would help us have not. The support from most of these christian people we know has been underwhelming. And I have spent many hours asking God why. Why after everything we have already been through are you allowing this to happen? More disappointment and discouragement. But he used Bro. Reggie on Sunday morning to speak to me. I realized that I'm in a place like Marah. And I am like the grumbling children of Israel. I was choosing to stay there and drink the bitter water instead of moving on to Elim. If we will just listen to God and do what he is telling us to do, he is going to provide that piece of wood and give us what we need. I can't plan this out. I need to remove my expectations and planning.
 Disappointment occurs when expectations aren't met. I can't expect everyone to have a burden for Africa. The Lord has given me that passion and I will have to wait to see how He uses that in my life. I can't allow satan to use my expectations of others to ruin this awesome journey that God is allowing us to travel on. This is not to say we haven't had support, love, and help from a lot of people. We have some in our family that have gone above and beyond. But it takes A LOT to get through an adoption. A lot of everything. Support, prayers, money, love, patience. More than I ever realized. More than I still realize. We are just in the middle of it. But, God will provide. We just need to take our expectations out of people and place it in Him. And maybe, He will use our story to minister to others about orphans. I hope, and pray, that our lives will touch and inspire others to take up their cross and spread the gospel and commandment for the sake of orphans like we are. Maybe it's our voice that He is planning to use.
Please please pray for us and other famliies adopting. Prayer is the best gift you can give another person.